A Self-Regulation Tool and Tip to Encourage Being Mindful
Inspiration for Making a Difference
Be the change you want to see in the world
This quote is about BEing:
- BE the kind of friend that you enjoy
- BE the kind of citizen in our community that shows empathy
- BE the kind of partner you wish to be with
- BE the kind of parent or grandparent that you would like your children/grandchildren to embrace
We have become a culture so focused on doing, that we often miss the journey of being and focus too much on the future of the finish line or the end product.
Gandhi, father of four, said:
There is no path to peace, peace is the path
Being mindful is the message.
When we live in the moment, experiencing everything our fives senses have to offer, without judgment, we can be the change we want to see in the world.
We can experience more self-regulation.
We are less likely to fly off the handle, engage in road rage, or gossip, and more likely to smile at strangers, offer a helping hand, create social change, act and speak from the heart.
Are your words cutting like a knife or warm like a fleece blanket?
Our words and tone of voice are very powerful. I find it very helpful to think of our words and actions as either a knife or a warm blanket.
When you speak, notice the energy you give off and think of these two metaphors.
Are my words as sharp as a knife? OR
Are my words providing warmth and comfort?
When our stress levels get activated, it’s easy to slip into cutting words and a sharp tone of voice, but if you think of how this is being received by the other person (as a knife) it can jolt you into realizing that it’s best to give yourself a time-out and walk away using the traffic light calming technique.
The Traffic Light Calming Technique
When you feel yourself “losing it”, you are in a state of alarm, and your calm, rational thinking brain does shut down. Your words and tone of voice will be as cutting as a knife.
Therefore, it’s important to walk away, zip lips, BREATHE and take time to calm down. (Being able to breathe when we’re distressed is much easier if we’ve practiced during times that we’re not so stressed. Breathing with a guided visualization is an effective way of creating more calm for you and your children. Here’s a list of my 6 favourite meditation apps for children and adults. Live links to the apps are included in the pdf.)
Once your body feels secure that the alarming situation is over, your physiology will change and you will be a “warm blanket” once more. You will calm and you will be able to think and speak rationally again.
For children and adults the Self-regulation traffic light (pdf image for your fridge) is a great image for this.
Red: STOP – Don’t say a word – take slow, deep breaths
Yellow: WALK … AWAY – Continue to take deep breaths
Green: GO – (for children) Go and get help from an adult, (for adults) Go for a walk or to another room in the house
If we focus on being mindful, in the present, and letting go of our own judgments, we can have a much greater influence than by judging or trying to change others. We can then be the change we want to see in the world.
Receive a list of my favourite guided visualizations….My 6 Top Apps for Creating More Calm for You and Your Children!
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