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Inversion of Morals, “FHRITP” and What Can We Do To Prevent It With Our Kids?

A Recent Real-Life Example of Moral Inversion

This week, Shauna Hunt, Toronto City TV news reporter took a stand against degrading, sexually-explicit language yelled to her, while she was filming live outside the Toronto stadium.  Sadly, this vulgar phrase has become a trend to call out to live reporters in England, the United States, Canada and probably other countries too.  However, this time, Shauna Hunt turned the tables.  She followed up with questions to one of the bystanders and he had no problem admitting that he thought it was  “f****** hilarious” and added his own degrading sexually explicit comments, which have now led to him being fired from his $100,000+/year job at Hydro One.  He has since written an apology letter to Shauna Hunt.

How Can We Instill Morals in our Children?

When I hear of stories such as this one, and Britt McHenry’s  (an American sports commentator who severely insulted a tow truck company clerk, which got caught on video),  I believe this is an indication of us becoming further disconnected from one another, with our humanity – our human race.  What can we do?

morals

Photo credit: Flickr: Thomas Hawk

1) Monitor video games and other screen exposure

I think about video games, such as Grand Theft Auto, and how they create desensitization from how we treat other human beings.  In Grand Theft Auto, as seen in this extremely disturbing video, one can have sex with a prostitute in a variety of ways, then run her over multiple times, kill her, get your money back and earn extra points for having sex with her.  One can also shoot police officers to get extra “ammo”.  I find it incredibly scary, that this is such a popular game and I don’t think all parents even realize what their child is playing!  Then we wonder why the vulgar phrase “FHRITP” has gained such popularity?

My wish:  For parents to research the video games their children are playing and take a stand against ones that teach “moral inversion” (a term from Dr. Leonard Sax) and to check-in with the parents of friends, before sleepovers and playdates occur, to see what video games are allowed.

2) More connection time with family

If we are connected in our homes, through family activities, family dinners, and family conversations we can talk about these kinds of events that just happened to the news reporter.  By reading books, such as Wonder (a children’s book about a boy with a facial deformity) we can discuss different ways that human beings treat each other.  For example, in Wonder, one can compare the ways that Julian bullies Auggie vs. Summer who befriends Auggie, as well as perspectives from the other characters.  There’s also a whole book dedicated to the daily precepts (quotes) that Auggie’s teacher wrote on the board each day.  (In real life, my daughter’s grade six teacher writes one on these precepts on their board every day, which I think is fabulous.)

My wish: For every teacher and parent, to have connection time with their children and discuss different perspectives on a variety of ethical issues.

3) Children need limits and consequences

We all need love and connection, but we also need to know that there are consequences for our actions.  Consequences can be positive or negative.  (A consequence is what happens after a behaviour.)  In the case of the news reporter heckler, Shawn Simoes, he has experienced the negative consequences for his actions, as his story goes public in a very negative way and he loses his high-paying job.  Consequences need to be connected to the “crime” to be effective and long-lasting, which is why punishment is not as effective in the long-term.  For more information see my previous post on Consequences vs. Punishment What is the Difference?  Children need to learn that when they cause damage (which includes emotional hurt), there needs to be repair.

My wish:  For children to be held accountable for their actions, by coming up with their own ways of repairing their damage.  If they’re not able to come up with their own ways, then for teachers and parents to help them generate ideas.

4)  We all come from the same source

No matter what our religious or evolutionary beliefs are, we all come from the same source, however one interprets that.  We belong to the whole human race. We all have different strengths and weaknesses and that is what makes us uniquely human. There is no need to act superior to make others feel inferior.  Everyone needs compassion and we can show empathy with our actions.  As a family, it is important to treat each other, as well as strangers, with respect, speak kindly about others, and demonstrate acts of kindness.

My wish:  For us to become a more humble and compassionate race, performing random acts of kinds and treating one another with respect.

As Ghandi so wisely said, “Be the change, that you wish to see in the world.”

Wishing you connection-time with your families this weekend,

Warmly,

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